I get to go home, get doted on, be told how awesome I am by my family, and generally not hate myself. Then I still hate myself because it sucks.
I wish "home" was where I actually lived in real life, so I could spare myself the several hundred dollars it costs to come "home", be fed approximately twelve dollars worth of booze, be given a crappy piece of salmon that would barely suffice as actual food where I actually live eleven and a half months out of the year, that is significantly shittier than the fish I prepare myself in actual life on an almost daily basis, (which costs like two dollars and tastes awesome because I don't live in a goddamn landlocked state in real life!) but whatever floats their boat...
I've been told I'm a thoughtless bastard but god DAMN I come by it honest.
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