Hi

I just experienced the situation where I was annihilated and attempted to not puke all over my parents' new carpet (it's really shiny), then succeeded, then felt exhilarated because I didn't ruin their carpet, then realized this situation essentially never happened even though it seemed like it did continuously after almost 18 similar situations over the past two years.

Uh, I have a lease, a dog, and a girlfriend. Literally 90 percent of all the stories in my life have no meaning.

Crap.